In a land ridden by ice and cold, Canadians had to conjure some way to pass the time and tame the Molson chugging as the winter months blanket the sun. While booze gargling was not created in Canada, hockey was, and it’s a damn fine creation. Kudos Canada! Our friendly neighbors to the North are known for their accommodating nature, kind demeanor, passion for hockey, and their accents. However, when it comes to defending their national sport, all that changes. They become arrogant, obnoxious and downright rude to other countries engaging in their sport. With Canada’s recent World Cup victory over Team Europe, where Canada went undefeated in the entire tournament, it was evident that Canada is a dominating force on the ice. However, Canada still remains to have only 7 out of the 30 NHL teams. Shouldn’t the country that invented the sport have more teams?
Canada is the third coldest country in the world, behind Russia and Antarctica, and their land mass is made up of nearly 9% of freshwater lakes, more than any other country in the world. That accounts for a lot of toque-wearing days spent out on the frozen ponds. No wonder Canada pops out hockey players like Mormon’s pop out door knockers. For a country that is hell-bent on being the best in the hockey world, the nation has not hoisted their own Stanley Cup since Montreal won in 1993. Of course, it was our beloved Patrick Roy who was in goal for them at the time. Canada may have won 26 Ice Hockey World Championships, but the combined Soviet Union and Russia have won 27 titles, with Czechoslovakia/Czech Republic having won 10. Clearly, there are other countries who are as talented as the Canadians, eh? Oh, and the US have won twice.
In the US, hockey is like the fourth stepchild to the NFL, NBA and MLB, where the NHL accidentally gets left behind at the gas station. Running and waving their arming trying to say “Wait for me! Wait for me!”, but with little to no impact on the American public. Hockey is not even on the radar for most people, even in cities that have teams. Here, the US is basking in 23 teams and numerous Stanley Cup Titles, where Canada is left up in the cold, clinging to their seven teams and stubborn pride. Canada is the birthplace to my most beloved (and hated) players, the home of Canadian Ray, a great National Anthem, Timmy Ho’s (what I imagine to be like a Canadian White Castle, but with donuts), bears the brunt of countless jokes, and is continuously good-natured. So good-natured, that I am sure they make jokes about their lack of teams, shrug it off and then start talking about how Timmy created a new cruller (That’s Canadian for Tim Horton’s having a new donut).
Canada accounts for roughly 50% of the NHL’s players and brought us Sakic, Roy and the spry Nathan MacKinnon. Canada has higher game attendance and ticket sales than US teams, higher viewership and makes up for a majority of league revenue that is then redistributed to less financially successful teams, ahem the Coyotes. Yet much to Canada’s dismay, they still have only have seven teams, where US cities like Phoenix and Tampa Bay have teams. Heck, California and Florida have five teams combined. And it was Las Vegas who won the bid for the next expansion team for the 2017-2018 Season over Quebec City.
The reason behind this decision is muddled in politics, economics and broadcasting rights, all of which are convoluted and messy. There are also geographic factors to take into consideration. If the NHL expanded to Quebec the Eastern Conference would have 17 teams, leaving the Western Conference with only 14. The Canadian dollar is also weaker to the US, and was one of the large factors in why the Quebec franchise was moved to Colorado in the first place. Ultimately, there is much more than the simple fact that Canadians love hockey and therefore should have more teams, but if you’re interested in reading more, Tony Keller and Neville McGuire make a compelling case for more Canadian hockey teams in their article “The New Economics of the NHL: Why Canada can support 12 Teams”.
Canada has a long hockey tradition that will never be equaled in United States, but by the looks of it they are still a long ways off from gaining another team. But in the meantime, instead of chiding them for their arrogance of superiority, let’s be grateful to the county who has brought us such a great sport, legendary athletes, and ultimately a team to Denver. After all, what else does it really have besides the gravy covered fries known as poutine, Mike Myers, and a safe haven for Americans to migrate should Trump win the election?
On a final note, I'll leave you with this video simply because I couldn't write a whole article about Canada and not include this. You're welcome.